Sunday, April 12, 2009

I chew my cabbage once and then I swallow

I chew my cabbage once and then I swallow.

My 7th grade teacher, Sister Ann Rosalia, was the first person I ever heard use the phrase. Once I had the maturity to understand what she meant, it became part of me, my life. To that end, I don't repeat and I don't go back; if someone gets put of or walks out of my life then they are gone.

Alas, an opportunity has presented itself to me, which would require me going back and I'm not sure. I'm having an internal conflict because one of the other mantras by which I live is that if I want different consequences, then I have to make different decisions. And going back would definitely a different decision than what I would normally do in this situation.

Oh lawd, who knows what's going to happen...choosing one mantra over the other...what would Buddha do? LOL

Friday, April 10, 2009

Liar, liar, pants on fire

Why do men insist on lying to me?

1. Do I look fragile?
2. Do I present myself as someone who will fall apart?
3. Do I appear as though I'm incapable of comprehending the truth?
4. Do I come across in any way other than as a mature, thinking and reasonable woman?
The answer is hell-f*cking-NO!!!!

Why the hell can't men just tell me the fucking truth? Give me the information and knowledge necessary to make an informed decision for my damn self, instead of him making it for me.

1. The truth shall set you free.
2. I will find out the truth eventually.
3. I am the only motherf*cker who has the right to make decisions for me.
4. When I inevitably find out, I'll be madder than if you had been straight with me from jump.
Unlike Tom Cruise...I can handle the f*cking truth a$$hole!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

yes, I love him

yes, I love him
I loved him before we met, before he touched me physically

it hurts like hell
I will live and do what I need to do, even without him...much to my regret

I can admit my feelings for him
I can face them and deal with them

I can put them in the folder with the hopes of what might have been

I shouldn't and I do.
I don't want to and I do.
I will get over him and I don't want to.