He's Baaaacccckkkkkk

It's been nearly three years since I said good-bye to him.

I have thought of him many, many times since then.

I wondered what he was doing and where he was (he traveled for work).

I have had dreams about him, fantasies about the two of us and daydreams about what "shoulda, coulda, woulda" have been.

In the end, I held firm to my resolve and did not contact him. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

The hardest part was letting go of my friend. We talked about anything and everything under the sun. There were no sacred cows, taboo subjects or beating around the bush. If one of us was about to make a mistake, the other gave warning and if one of us made a mistake, the other called foul. There would be months, when we didn't speak or see each other, but we would always get right back into each other lives and the rhythm of our relationship.

Well, after three years of no communication, he sent me an email to let me know he is very ill. As I read, reread and reread it, my heart grew heavier and tears filled my eyes. I wanted to go to him, to hold him and let him know how much he still means to me. The idea of him going through any pain or suffering is torturous to me. I still love him and would never want anything bad to befall him.

We are communicating again, and we will continue doing so. I could always make him laugh, and that is my goal, to keep him laughing, smiling, smirking, giggling, etc. The ubiquitous they say, laughter is the best medicine, and I'm making sure he gets a daily dose.

I won't walk away from my friend in his hour of need.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Fellas, why haven't y'all learned this lesson?

Don't tell me you care about me then break dates.

Don't tell me you respect me then keep pushing when I've said "No."

Don't tell me you love me then won't make time for me.

Don't tell me you're into me when I'm not a priority in your life.

Don't tell me, "I'm trying," when you haven't included me as part of the process.

Don't call, text or email to keep in touch, check in or to say, "Hi," then don't ask me out.

This is what a real man DOES when he is into me:

He calls a lot.

He spends time with me, vertically and horizontally.

He makes me a priority on his schedule.

He rearranges other appointments to see me.

He says, "No," to family and friends to be with me.

He goes to events he doesn't want to go to because I want to go.

And I do all of this for him as well.

When My Past & Present Collide

It was bound to happen.

The DC Metro area isn't that big, with only about 1,000,000 folks here. Not to mention, I've lived here most of my life. Plus add to that, the fact I've been dating for 20+ years, and this becomes a confluence of circumstances that some call a pefect storm. I call it hell-on earth.

Due to my ever-evolving professional experiences and varied personal interests, I've had the good fortune of not running or bumping into past boyfriends, lovers, etc. If I have seen a former, it has been on my terms or at least I anticipated it. This works for me, it is how I like it. I'm not big into the "we can still be friends" thing. When it's over, it's over...I don't need to see you soon and you mos def don't need to see me again. This can (and has) lead to confusion with subsequents, and confusion is not good for anyone.

The problem is that as time passes and with the advent of social media, not to mention, seemingly no one ever leaves the DMV, there is a shift occurring...an unwanted and potentially dangerous shift.

I was recently at an event and TWO of my exes were there. Both are married and both hit on me at the event. *Put that aside for another post.* The point is, I had abso-f€cking-lutely no idea, thought or inclination they would be there. Further, there was no reason for me to be there, other than I was live-tweeting the event. It was so odd for the three of us to be there.

The bizarrest of bizarre part, I dated both of them 20 years ago, within a year of each other.

~Cue strange coincidence music.~

I wonder if this "storm" is going to become a regular thing...I hope not.