Monday, February 16, 2009


I'm scared. I'm falling into an old habit.

I don't want to and when I try to not to, all I can think about is doing it again.

I am better than this. I am more disciplined than this. I am in control of my life.

How did it even get to this point?
How did I let it get this far?
Am I that frickin' desperate?

Good news: I haven't completely gone over the cliff.
Bad news: I'm definitely driving full speed ahead towards edge.
Worse news: I don't care if I go over; I want what I want.
Worst news: I going over the cliff with my eyes wide open and I'm dragging at least two other folks with me.

I am such a pathetic loser, and don't try to tell me I'm not. Don't try to make me feel better. Don't try to rationalize what I'm doing. Just let me be in my misery and leave me ALONE!

I'm on my me spot over the cliff.

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