Here I go again...or do I?

Of my serious relationships, I haven't had one with a guy who was "there." He was either on his way up "there" or leaving "there." He was either looking for a job, starting new career or in school and/or didn't have a home of his own...seriously. Then without fail, once they've gotten their shit together, we break up. Seemingly after I've supported them and am ready to reap the rewards of my patience and sacrifice, I get jipped.

I wonder what that's like, to date someone who is already "there" and established.

I find myself in a similar position again. He is great guy, we have a lot in common, have fun together and can talk to each other. When we started "dating" (go with me here) he was employed, then right as we decide to serious, he loses his job and moves away to begin a new career. He says he'll be back here in a year to be with me. He's is leaps and bounds ahead of the others, he owns his home where he's moved and in just the few weeks he's been gone, he's already accomplished some things to indicate his seriousness about coming back to me, plus he makes an effort to communicate with me everyday.

I've helped, supported, encouraged so many men, only to be left with memories and unfulfilled promises and dreams. Do I dare give it one more shot? Do I yet again put energy into building someone else up? Do I get my hopes up again for yet another possibility?

I once read: 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Yep, I'm going for it.

strong ALL the time

It's tough being strong ALL the time. I want some down time. I want to let down my guard, relax and let someone else do it, handle it, settle it and take care of it.

Is marriage the answer...not necessarily. I know plenty of people in jacked relationships. Not only is one person bringing home the bacon and frying it, s/he is also milking the cow, gathering eggs and tending the vegetable garden. No thank you!

I can (and am) already do all of that without the baggage of someone sucking more life outta me.

I want someone else to take care of stuff for me, if only temporarily.

I want someone else to keep the train on schedule, if only from here to Union Station.

And, I want someone else to make my damn dinner for a change, if only spaghetti.


Yeah, I'm whining...so what....it's my blog.

From friends to....

We were just supposed to be friends with benefits...no fuss, no muss...that plan disappeared quicker than my straight hair on a July day in DC.

We had nights when were together and actually slept.
We had nights when we cuddled and I do not cuddle.
We had nights when we talked, shared and established true intimacy.
We were burgeoning on a real relationship.

Just as we were about to do this thing, the rug got pulled from under us. He had to move 500 miles away for a job. This is when it hit me, I really care for this man and I want him in my life.

He is a renaissance man. He has a master's degree in software engineering, and he is a gifted musician and song writer. Plus, he's an award winning restaurant manager and chef, who makes a serious smack-yo-mama spinach omelet.

He is fun. He likes to hang out or chill at home. He enjoys listening to classical music and bumping & grinding to Ludacris. He has a nice sense of humor and laughs at my silliness.

He appreciates me. He likes the fact that I can converse on a wide range of subjects. He respects my knowledge of football and digs the fact I'm a ballroom dancer.

It's pointless to ask why this has happened to me. All I can do is face my feelings and deal with them...I miss him. The good news is, he misses me too, so I'm not on this cliff alone.

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Music for the Female Soul

February 13th was Madly in Love with Me Day. I say, everyday is madly in love with me day.

I want women to bookmark this post. Whenever you need a pick-me-up or self esteem boost, come here and get what you need to hold on, get through, overcome and excel.

I want men to bookmark this post. Whenever a woman in your life loses her pep, stops smiling or is too tough on herself, send her this link to find encouragement and strength.

1. Ya Gotta Be Des'ree
   
2. I’m Every Woman Chaka Kahn
   
3. A Woman’s Worth Alicia Keys
   
4. RESPECT Aretha Franklin
5. New Attitude Patti LaBelle
   
6. Single Ladies Beyonce Knowles
   
7. Golden Jill Scott
   
8. Before He Cheats Carrie Underwood
9. 
   
   
   
10. No Scrubs TLC
    
11. No More Drama Mary J. Blige
    
12. Unwritten Natasha Bedingfield
13. Breakaway Kelly Clarkson
    
14. I Don't Need a Man The Pussycat Dolls
15. Redneck Woman Gretchen Wilson
    
16. Single Natasha Bedingfeld
17. Bitch Meredith Brooks
18. Miss Independent Kelly Clarskson
19. Too Little Too Late Jojo
20. 
    



21. Survivor Destiny’s Child
22. I Will Survive Gloria Gaynor
23. Control Janet Jackson
24. Expression Salt N Pepa
    
25. U.N.I.T.Y. Queen Latifah
26. Goodbye Earl Dixie Chicks
    
27. Independent Women Destiny's Child
    
28. Just Fine Mary J. Blige
29. It's Not Right But It's Okay Whitney Houston
30. Irreplaceable Beyonce
31. Keep On Walking CeCe Peniston
32. Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin
33. 
    

Let me know the others I should include in this list.

From Prince Charming to a Baron...D*mn

In my teen years, I wanted the fairytale: the castle, Prince Charming, and happily ever-after.

In my 20s, I wanted the fantasy: fame, fortune, adventure, a Duke and happily ever-after.

In my 30s, I wanted the dream: passion, romance, travel, an Earl and happily ever-after.

In my 40s, I want it ALL and more: love, passion, travel, romance, adventure, joy, happily ever-after, laughter, peace and I'll take a Viscount or Baron if one is hanging around, maybe.

And yes, I've kissed more than my fair share of frogs, and still no Prince Charming.

How to date me

To date a Scorpio woman, a man must realize that she is a highly sexual being that is aroused by power.



Man the f*ck up!
You say you want me, then come and get me!
I can't stand a punk-a$$ beotchy man!

a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush

My sistas, we will overlook the great opportunities ahead, the grand adventures to come and the splendid times that await, if we stay focused on not being married. I am not anti-marriage or against loving, supportive, healthy relationships; however, I refuse to base my contentment, my happiness and my existence on what I don't have. I define me, whether or not I'm with a man only lets folks know I'm gettin' it on regular.

As Grandma used to say, "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush," and my hands are overflowing with dreams to fulfill, goals to meet and the desires to feed. Until I choose to have a relationship, I'll be livin' the single life.