From friends to....

We were just supposed to be friends with benefits...no fuss, no muss...that plan disappeared quicker than my straight hair on a July day in DC.

We had nights when were together and actually slept.
We had nights when we cuddled and I do not cuddle.
We had nights when we talked, shared and established true intimacy.
We were burgeoning on a real relationship.

Just as we were about to do this thing, the rug got pulled from under us. He had to move 500 miles away for a job. This is when it hit me, I really care for this man and I want him in my life.

He is a renaissance man. He has a master's degree in software engineering, and he is a gifted musician and song writer. Plus, he's an award winning restaurant manager and chef, who makes a serious smack-yo-mama spinach omelet.

He is fun. He likes to hang out or chill at home. He enjoys listening to classical music and bumping & grinding to Ludacris. He has a nice sense of humor and laughs at my silliness.

He appreciates me. He likes the fact that I can converse on a wide range of subjects. He respects my knowledge of football and digs the fact I'm a ballroom dancer.

It's pointless to ask why this has happened to me. All I can do is face my feelings and deal with them...I miss him. The good news is, he misses me too, so I'm not on this cliff alone.

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Music for the Female Soul

February 13th was Madly in Love with Me Day. I say, everyday is madly in love with me day.

I want women to bookmark this post. Whenever you need a pick-me-up or self esteem boost, come here and get what you need to hold on, get through, overcome and excel.

I want men to bookmark this post. Whenever a woman in your life loses her pep, stops smiling or is too tough on herself, send her this link to find encouragement and strength.

1. Ya Gotta Be Des'ree
   
2. I’m Every Woman Chaka Kahn
   
3. A Woman’s Worth Alicia Keys
   
4. RESPECT Aretha Franklin
5. New Attitude Patti LaBelle
   
6. Single Ladies Beyonce Knowles
   
7. Golden Jill Scott
   
8. Before He Cheats Carrie Underwood
9. 
   
   
   
10. No Scrubs TLC
    
11. No More Drama Mary J. Blige
    
12. Unwritten Natasha Bedingfield
13. Breakaway Kelly Clarkson
    
14. I Don't Need a Man The Pussycat Dolls
15. Redneck Woman Gretchen Wilson
    
16. Single Natasha Bedingfeld
17. Bitch Meredith Brooks
18. Miss Independent Kelly Clarskson
19. Too Little Too Late Jojo
20. 
    



21. Survivor Destiny’s Child
22. I Will Survive Gloria Gaynor
23. Control Janet Jackson
24. Expression Salt N Pepa
    
25. U.N.I.T.Y. Queen Latifah
26. Goodbye Earl Dixie Chicks
    
27. Independent Women Destiny's Child
    
28. Just Fine Mary J. Blige
29. It's Not Right But It's Okay Whitney Houston
30. Irreplaceable Beyonce
31. Keep On Walking CeCe Peniston
32. Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves Annie Lennox and Aretha Franklin
33. 
    

Let me know the others I should include in this list.

From Prince Charming to a Baron...D*mn

In my teen years, I wanted the fairytale: the castle, Prince Charming, and happily ever-after.

In my 20s, I wanted the fantasy: fame, fortune, adventure, a Duke and happily ever-after.

In my 30s, I wanted the dream: passion, romance, travel, an Earl and happily ever-after.

In my 40s, I want it ALL and more: love, passion, travel, romance, adventure, joy, happily ever-after, laughter, peace and I'll take a Viscount or Baron if one is hanging around, maybe.

And yes, I've kissed more than my fair share of frogs, and still no Prince Charming.

How to date me

To date a Scorpio woman, a man must realize that she is a highly sexual being that is aroused by power.



Man the f*ck up!
You say you want me, then come and get me!
I can't stand a punk-a$$ beotchy man!

a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush

My sistas, we will overlook the great opportunities ahead, the grand adventures to come and the splendid times that await, if we stay focused on not being married. I am not anti-marriage or against loving, supportive, healthy relationships; however, I refuse to base my contentment, my happiness and my existence on what I don't have. I define me, whether or not I'm with a man only lets folks know I'm gettin' it on regular.

As Grandma used to say, "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush," and my hands are overflowing with dreams to fulfill, goals to meet and the desires to feed. Until I choose to have a relationship, I'll be livin' the single life.

My 2010 Prayer

This is my 2010 prayer for us.

To whomever your Creator be,
I pray you receive all your mind can conceive and your heart can receive.
I pray you take the path less traveled, walking in the sunshine and singing in the rain.
I pray you smile everyday, laugh often, give freely and receive openly.
I pray you have peace of mind and contentment of spirit.
I pray you have unspeakable joy and love of self.
I pray you have abundant blessings.

Amen.

On being a single Black woman

I'm not going to expound on this video, rather just offer a few insights from someone who's been where these women currently find themselves.

1. As startling as it may seem, single women are single by choice. Every decision we've made and its subsequent consequence has led us to this point in time. We may not want to admit it, but we must face it in order to learn and grow. We have to examine our relationship decisions, hopefully learning from them, and making better ones in the future.


2. Getting married is easy, being content and satisfied in the marriage is hard as hell. If all we want is to get married, have our day in the spotlight with the dress, flowers, gifts, reception, etc., then that can happen without much effort at all. However, if we want a contented and satisfying life, then we have to stop looking outside of ourselves at what we don't have and treasuring and nurturing the relationships we do have.


3. Throw whatever Man Qualifying Checklist you have in the trash. In our twenties, we all had the list: he had to be this tall, this complexion, work here, drive this, live there, go to this church, had attended this school, yada, yada, yada, plus be supportive, kind, loving, blah, blah, blah. As we got older, the list got shorter and the priorities began to shift. We have to focus on those qualities that truly define a person of character and forget the BS. No one's obituary has ever listed their credit score, the car they drove or how many suits they had.
   


4. Reality is a bitch. The truth of the matter is that many of my sistas and I may not ever get married. It is a hard, cold fact of life, and one that used to keep me up at night. We are social beings by nature and nurture; however, not being married should not stop us from living the best possible lives we can. No man (or woman) should ever have the power to determine the quality of our lives.


5. Finally, as a former choir director once said, "it is better to be single and want to be married, than to be married and want to be single." Amen! I know too many people in horrible marriages, he cheated, she lied, she's lazy, he's trifling and so on and so on and so on. Everyone hopes for the til death do us part, but the US divorce rate is 50%...the odds are not exactly with the house.

To my sistas, keep your heads held high, make smart choices and learn from your past, learn about yourself and live to your fullest.