A few weeks ago I made a decision and less than 3 weeks later, I abandoned my decision and fell back into old habits. I still believe in the decision I made; it was a good decision and the right choice for me.
The only thing stopping me from achieving my goals is me.
The only person who can make my life better is me.
The consequences of my life are in my control.
I'm choosing life. I'm choosing to live.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
Decision made
Let's see, from Sunday morning through Friday morning, I'd lost 6.5 lbs. The holiday weekend was tough, I stuck to the program on Friday, somewhat on Saturday and gave in on Sunday. When I weighed in this morning (week after I started), I had gained 4 lbs. back. Considering I'm still 2.5 lbs. lighter than my starting weight, I'm not upset. I know I got off track; I know how I got of track; and I know how to stay on track. I was on track today and will be on track until we reach the station.
My 2nd decision was to never diet again, I've made a lifestyle change and mental adjustment (1st decision is further down). If the doctor said I had to take insulin shots everyday for diabetes or else die, then I would. I look at my lifestyle change and mental adjustment in the same way, if I want to live a long and healthy life, then I have to do what is necessary and make the proper changes.
While looking good is important, it really isn't a motivator for me. To be honest, I'm attractive, look good in my clothes and can still get men's attention; therefore, "improving" how I look isn't incentive. Being healthy enough to enjoy my life is the motivation.
I was in Denver a couple of weeks ago; it is a beautiful city with mountains all around. While there, I took a couple of hours to visit Red Rock Amphitheatre. There wasn't a show, so visitors could walk down the steps (looked to be 1,000 of them) to the stage. Being that I was already a mile above sea level, then the thought of walking back up those steps turned me away from going to the stage and that did it for me.
My 1st decision was that my physical condition was not going to stop, inhibit or restrict me from doing the things I want to do or living the life I want to live.
I've made decisions and I'm not looking back. My body is only going to get stronger, healthier and better.
My 2nd decision was to never diet again, I've made a lifestyle change and mental adjustment (1st decision is further down). If the doctor said I had to take insulin shots everyday for diabetes or else die, then I would. I look at my lifestyle change and mental adjustment in the same way, if I want to live a long and healthy life, then I have to do what is necessary and make the proper changes.
While looking good is important, it really isn't a motivator for me. To be honest, I'm attractive, look good in my clothes and can still get men's attention; therefore, "improving" how I look isn't incentive. Being healthy enough to enjoy my life is the motivation.
I was in Denver a couple of weeks ago; it is a beautiful city with mountains all around. While there, I took a couple of hours to visit Red Rock Amphitheatre. There wasn't a show, so visitors could walk down the steps (looked to be 1,000 of them) to the stage. Being that I was already a mile above sea level, then the thought of walking back up those steps turned me away from going to the stage and that did it for me.
My 1st decision was that my physical condition was not going to stop, inhibit or restrict me from doing the things I want to do or living the life I want to live.
I've made decisions and I'm not looking back. My body is only going to get stronger, healthier and better.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Theatre of Life (Step 1)
Picture a theatre in your mind's eye, the orchestra seats are the most expensive, then the rear orchestra, first balcony and second balcony. Who is in the orchestra seats of your theatre, taking the best seats in your life...are they worthy of that position? For purposes of this demonstration, my theatre does not have box seating.
This idea began running through my mind as I've begun putting the guest list together for my 2nd 39th birthday celebration. I love all of my family, but I darn sure don't like all of them, want to party with all of them or spend money on all of them (y'all know I'm telling the truth, don't front). The term "friend" has become so ubiquitous that I had to consider and reconsider who is a friend, a sistahgrrrl, an associate, an acquaintance, etc.
How would make these decisions?
How could I make these decisions?
Was there a way to avoid these decisions?
In the end, I had to make the tough decisions because my budget wouldn't allow me to invite any and everyone I know or had ever spoken to in the last 39 years. And as we all know, most things like this come down to finances. So I developed a unbiased process and defined some criteria, which seems to have worked (keeping fingers crossed).
Step 1: Define the categories
1. Family: these are people with whom I share DNA, plus a few super-close family friends we call "cousins." The delineation is clear, blood relations are family, and in a lot of Black families other assorted "cousins" is the norm. These are the ties that have bound me for almost 40 years; these are the ties that keep me grounded in who I am and whose I am; and these are the ties that may get a little weak from time-to-time, but they have never broken. To put this in perspective, think of the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," and you get the idea.
Note: As a Black woman, I probably should have used the movie "Soul Food" as an example; however, my family is closer in size and composition to the aforementioned. This is why folks are always tryin' to take my card...I represent when it's appropriate and salient.
2. Sistahgrrrlz: these are my good grrrlfriendz. In my mind they are a very specific group of women, who I've known for 16 years. We talk, eat out, share, go to movies, discuss and most importantly pray for each other. Together, we have celebrated successes, mourned losses and rejoiced in triumphs; we have a bond that was knit in the Spirit and it is the Spirit that keeps us together no matter how far apart we may drift. We are a group of 5-6 single, never been married, professional women with no children. Within the last 5 or so years, 2 of us have gotten married, not yours truly.
3. Grrlfriends: these are my friends. They are women who I can depend on and who can depend on me. We do stuff, we talk and have fun together. These are women I first met while working and have maintained contact since leaving the organization. They are intelligent, all having multiple degrees, politically astute and active, and have strong family ties. We collaborated on our jobs and supported each other's work. I would gladly work with any of them again.
4. associates: these are folks who I enjoy spending time with on occasion. I don't have a lot of folks in this category. I try to focus my energy on my existing relationships; however, this group is fun and keeps me laughing.
5. acquaintances and new folks: I have developed some tangential relationships with online "friends," and who's to say those relationships won't grow deeper and stronger.
Now, for the most part, these delineations don't change much, especially groups 1 and 2, though group 2 has had some deletions in the past. Group 3 has grown over the past couple of years as I moved to a new organization a few years ago and began working with more women. Groups 4 and 5 are the most fluid, with the ebbs and flows of people coming and going; however, a few of these people tend to move into 3, even if only for a short time.
More steps will follow as I get closer to mailing the invitations.
Oy!!! It's not a perfect system, it's a work in progress. As long as there are empty seats in my theatre, then the process will never be complete...and I'm glad about it.
This idea began running through my mind as I've begun putting the guest list together for my 2nd 39th birthday celebration. I love all of my family, but I darn sure don't like all of them, want to party with all of them or spend money on all of them (y'all know I'm telling the truth, don't front). The term "friend" has become so ubiquitous that I had to consider and reconsider who is a friend, a sistahgrrrl, an associate, an acquaintance, etc.
How would make these decisions?
How could I make these decisions?
Was there a way to avoid these decisions?
In the end, I had to make the tough decisions because my budget wouldn't allow me to invite any and everyone I know or had ever spoken to in the last 39 years. And as we all know, most things like this come down to finances. So I developed a unbiased process and defined some criteria, which seems to have worked (keeping fingers crossed).
Step 1: Define the categories
1. Family: these are people with whom I share DNA, plus a few super-close family friends we call "cousins." The delineation is clear, blood relations are family, and in a lot of Black families other assorted "cousins" is the norm. These are the ties that have bound me for almost 40 years; these are the ties that keep me grounded in who I am and whose I am; and these are the ties that may get a little weak from time-to-time, but they have never broken. To put this in perspective, think of the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," and you get the idea.
Note: As a Black woman, I probably should have used the movie "Soul Food" as an example; however, my family is closer in size and composition to the aforementioned. This is why folks are always tryin' to take my card...I represent when it's appropriate and salient.
2. Sistahgrrrlz: these are my good grrrlfriendz. In my mind they are a very specific group of women, who I've known for 16 years. We talk, eat out, share, go to movies, discuss and most importantly pray for each other. Together, we have celebrated successes, mourned losses and rejoiced in triumphs; we have a bond that was knit in the Spirit and it is the Spirit that keeps us together no matter how far apart we may drift. We are a group of 5-6 single, never been married, professional women with no children. Within the last 5 or so years, 2 of us have gotten married, not yours truly.
3. Grrlfriends: these are my friends. They are women who I can depend on and who can depend on me. We do stuff, we talk and have fun together. These are women I first met while working and have maintained contact since leaving the organization. They are intelligent, all having multiple degrees, politically astute and active, and have strong family ties. We collaborated on our jobs and supported each other's work. I would gladly work with any of them again.
4. associates: these are folks who I enjoy spending time with on occasion. I don't have a lot of folks in this category. I try to focus my energy on my existing relationships; however, this group is fun and keeps me laughing.
5. acquaintances and new folks: I have developed some tangential relationships with online "friends," and who's to say those relationships won't grow deeper and stronger.
Now, for the most part, these delineations don't change much, especially groups 1 and 2, though group 2 has had some deletions in the past. Group 3 has grown over the past couple of years as I moved to a new organization a few years ago and began working with more women. Groups 4 and 5 are the most fluid, with the ebbs and flows of people coming and going; however, a few of these people tend to move into 3, even if only for a short time.
More steps will follow as I get closer to mailing the invitations.
Oy!!! It's not a perfect system, it's a work in progress. As long as there are empty seats in my theatre, then the process will never be complete...and I'm glad about it.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Too much weigh, just enough time
Okay, I'm off and running, well not physically, it's a metaphor. Anyway, I'm taking it one day at a time.
- I had Cinch on Monday and Tuesday and ate sensible dinners and no snacks.
- Working on getting my water consumption up to 8 glasses.
Monday - starting weight (none ya)
Wednesday - 1.2 lbs lighter
Movin' on up (down)!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Which Sports Car Are You?
I'm a Lamborghini Murcielago!
You're not subtle, but you don't want to be. Fast, loud, and dramatic, you want people to notice you, and then get out of the way. In a world full of sheep, you're a raging bull.
Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Life is...(part 1)
Life is comprised of a series of choices and consequences. How we act and react to the decisions we make each & every minute of our lives determines our lives. Even as children, while most decisions are out of our control, the reactions we have to the decisions elders make for us is paramount to who we will be as adults.
I came into the realization of this a few years ago and began making decisions for my life about the kind of life I wanted to live. It is a life filled with love, compassion, service, adventure, fun/laughter and respect for each person's humanity. Once I decided to live that kind of life, living became a bit easier as I began making decisions that will bring those attributes to me or allow me to share those attributes with others. As I have been "searching for authenticity" and preparing for my 2nd 39th birthday (yes, a small bit of denial is implicit in my philosophy), I've acknowledged and faced many of my bad decisions that lead to negative consequences, and I've also acknowledged many of my good decisions and their positive impact.
As I move towards November, I feel as though I've gotten better at making good decisions, my goal is to make better decisions. Good decisions aren't good enough anymore.
I'm on my way, still have a ways to go, gettin' there, one day, one step, one prayer at a time.
I came into the realization of this a few years ago and began making decisions for my life about the kind of life I wanted to live. It is a life filled with love, compassion, service, adventure, fun/laughter and respect for each person's humanity. Once I decided to live that kind of life, living became a bit easier as I began making decisions that will bring those attributes to me or allow me to share those attributes with others. As I have been "searching for authenticity" and preparing for my 2nd 39th birthday (yes, a small bit of denial is implicit in my philosophy), I've acknowledged and faced many of my bad decisions that lead to negative consequences, and I've also acknowledged many of my good decisions and their positive impact.
As I move towards November, I feel as though I've gotten better at making good decisions, my goal is to make better decisions. Good decisions aren't good enough anymore.
I'm on my way, still have a ways to go, gettin' there, one day, one step, one prayer at a time.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Circuit City's customer service disaster
It has taken me a few days to be away from the situation as to where I can now write about it without using too many 4-letter words.
On Thursday evening, May 9th, I decided to take my laptop downstairs and tweet, blog, serf, etc. while watching TV and having a cocktail. I mean, this is the point of a laptop, the ability to take it with you and free you from a desk; however, my cocktail and my laptop didn't play well together, suffice it to say, I blew-up my motherboard. After several panicked phone calls to IT friends, the Geek Squad and God, I resigned myself to purchasing a new laptop.
First things first, getting the data off of my hard drive and onto a flash drive. The nice, albeit non-miracle working techs at Dell, suggested I take it Circuit City. They have an in-house "geek-squad" that could assist me. On Saturday I tootle down to CC, expecting this to be relatively painless; the ordeal I endured for the next two weeks was worse than getting my wisdom teeth pulled.
I give the Fire Dog tech (Circuit City in home geeks) my motherboard and they suggest an expensive large capacity flash drive, not knowing how much information will be transferred. Let me put a pin in that...I am an end-user. I don't know the difference between rams, gig, bytes, etc. and I don't want to know. I want to turn on my frickin' computer and have it work...They tell me to come back in 2 hours and everything will be done. So I leave, feeling satisfied and expecting a job well done because of the confidence they exuded and claims they made that they could do the job properly.
I come back in 2 hours and the data isn't finished moving from one to the other. The FD tech said I had of information and it was taking a long time. Another pin...this is my home laptop, not work, there were less than 100 word or excel docs, so I couldn't imagine what was taking so long...While the hard drive & flash drive continued to do their thing, I looked for a replacement laptop. While I was wholeheartedly disappointed that all of their computers ran Vista, and only Vista, I was able to find one at a reasonable price, plus the software, cost me less than the one I had drowned. However, to have them install the software would be another 2 hours, so I left excited about my new purchase. By this time the flash drive is loaded; I told them to keep everything together and I would get it all at once when I picked up my laptop.
Upon my return 2 hours later, the FD tech informed me the laptop wasn't ready and I should come back in about 45 minutes. I rolled my eyes and went next door for a sandwich. I went back picked up the laptop, hard drive and flash drive. When I asked about other equipment to use with the laptop, my air card, printer and wireless mouse, the tech said that I could load the software onto the machine and if it wasn't Vista compatible, then I could just download it from the appropriate web site. Cool, let's go home.
In case you lost track, I have been to the store 3 times in one day.
I always check my answering machine when I first get home. There is a call from the FD tech that they forgot to give me the software Cd's and that someone would bring them to my home tomorrow. Foul ball.
I get home, plug it in, turn it on and we're cooking with gas. I attach the flash drive and notice that NONE of my files I need are there. I don't know what they transferred from my hard drive, but none of it was my files. Strike 1.
I proceed to load the AT&T air card software, follow the steps and then restart. Nothing happens, I mean nothing happens. The machine came on and the screen remained black. Strike 2.
I have to call the store 3 separate times to finally get someone to assist me; I'm determined not to go back to the store that evening; it would not have been a pleasant experience for all parties concerned, not to mention the next day is Mother's Day and I'm having guests for brunch, including my own mother. Finally after having me do several unsuccessful things, the FD tech says I need to bring the machine in and I quickly respond that since someone is coming by tomorrow to drop off the software, he/she can take the machine back. The tech is amenable to my suggestion. Ball 1.
No one showed up on Sunday to deliver or pick-up a frickin' thing. I was home all day; I didn't even go to church because I was preparing for brunch. Foul ball.
On Monday I take the laptop, original hard drive and flash drive to Circuit City. I tell them that none of the files transferred and the laptop isn't working. First I had them exchange the pricey large capacity flash drive for a smaller less expensive one as the files took less space than they anticipated. Second I wanted them to fix my laptop; the asst. manager tried to give me grief about loading a non-Circuit City (aka Verizon) broadband software and I gently (ha ha) reminded him that I would not have done if the FD tech hadn't assured me that if it didn't work with Vista, I could download upgrades/patches from the web. He finally relented and said that it would take a few days because they would need to use recovery Cd's (do I know, no; do I care, no). I was going out of town, so I left it there for a week. Ball 2.
I returned home over the weekend and on Wednesday, May 21st I go to pick up the laptop, software, hard drive and flash drive. Before I take a step away from the counter, I have them check the flash drive. Low & behold, the files still aren't on it. They swear they have transferred everything, and quietly (ha ha) let them know they haven't. The FD tech plugs in my hard drive and I showed them the files I want. The tech said, "oh," then he transferred those files, which was a simple copy/paste, in 20 seconds. They assured me everything was fine with the laptop and that I should take it to an AT&T store to have them load the software properly. I walked out. Ball 3.
As I can't get online, I do other things. I set the laptop date and time; I set up the display and screen saver; and I do some other odds and ends to make it more mine.
The next day, I go to an AT&T store to have the air card software properly installed. I have another customer service saga about AT&T, which I'll go into later. The rep opens my computer, turns it on and it isn't working. He can't get to the connection manager; seemingly the laptop is again malfunctioning. I go home, have a cocktail and watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I couldn't go back to Circuit City in the state I was in or else folks would have been physically hurt, including myself. Strike 3.
Friday morning I awaken feeling refreshed. I've come to a decision. I have my files on the flash drive; I'll just use my work computer. I was returning the laptop and software and getting every dime of money I had paid.
Circuit City and Fire Dog had struck out. I went there for the last time, determined never to go there again or spend another dime with them. Note: Ask JC Penney if I can get my goods & services from another store, I haven't been there in almost 20 years because of lousy customer service and I'm sure Target is very happy with my decision.
This makes a total of 5 times to the same store for the same unresolved issue.
I walk in, immediately ask for an operations director and tell them I'm returning the laptop. He gives it to a FD tech, who was able to get to the connection manager, at which time I let them know they can load the AT&T software onto the computer. The manager begins to hem & haw about loading it and I let him know, do it or keep it, the decision is his. He decides to do it and says it should only be 10-15 minutes and I can wait for it. Upon completion I test it before I move from the counter, and it still wasn't working. The manager says they will give me another computer and I can pick it up tomorrow. Do I have to tell you my answer? Using my indoor voice (ha ha) I told him I would gladly take it, but I'm not coming back into this store. He said a FD tech would deliver it to me tomorrow.
Well, I can say that on Saturday, May 24th, 2008, two weeks, 5 trips, untold hours, unmentioned & numerous 4-letter words later, I received my new laptop in working condition.
I am pleased that they continued working to get it right; however, I am still never going to spend another red cent there. It shouldn't take that much dang work to get it right!
On Thursday evening, May 9th, I decided to take my laptop downstairs and tweet, blog, serf, etc. while watching TV and having a cocktail. I mean, this is the point of a laptop, the ability to take it with you and free you from a desk; however, my cocktail and my laptop didn't play well together, suffice it to say, I blew-up my motherboard. After several panicked phone calls to IT friends, the Geek Squad and God, I resigned myself to purchasing a new laptop.
First things first, getting the data off of my hard drive and onto a flash drive. The nice, albeit non-miracle working techs at Dell, suggested I take it Circuit City. They have an in-house "geek-squad" that could assist me. On Saturday I tootle down to CC, expecting this to be relatively painless; the ordeal I endured for the next two weeks was worse than getting my wisdom teeth pulled.
I give the Fire Dog tech (Circuit City in home geeks) my motherboard and they suggest an expensive large capacity flash drive, not knowing how much information will be transferred. Let me put a pin in that...I am an end-user. I don't know the difference between rams, gig, bytes, etc. and I don't want to know. I want to turn on my frickin' computer and have it work...They tell me to come back in 2 hours and everything will be done. So I leave, feeling satisfied and expecting a job well done because of the confidence they exuded and claims they made that they could do the job properly.
I come back in 2 hours and the data isn't finished moving from one to the other. The FD tech said I had of information and it was taking a long time. Another pin...this is my home laptop, not work, there were less than 100 word or excel docs, so I couldn't imagine what was taking so long...While the hard drive & flash drive continued to do their thing, I looked for a replacement laptop. While I was wholeheartedly disappointed that all of their computers ran Vista, and only Vista, I was able to find one at a reasonable price, plus the software, cost me less than the one I had drowned. However, to have them install the software would be another 2 hours, so I left excited about my new purchase. By this time the flash drive is loaded; I told them to keep everything together and I would get it all at once when I picked up my laptop.
Upon my return 2 hours later, the FD tech informed me the laptop wasn't ready and I should come back in about 45 minutes. I rolled my eyes and went next door for a sandwich. I went back picked up the laptop, hard drive and flash drive. When I asked about other equipment to use with the laptop, my air card, printer and wireless mouse, the tech said that I could load the software onto the machine and if it wasn't Vista compatible, then I could just download it from the appropriate web site. Cool, let's go home.
In case you lost track, I have been to the store 3 times in one day.
I always check my answering machine when I first get home. There is a call from the FD tech that they forgot to give me the software Cd's and that someone would bring them to my home tomorrow. Foul ball.
I get home, plug it in, turn it on and we're cooking with gas. I attach the flash drive and notice that NONE of my files I need are there. I don't know what they transferred from my hard drive, but none of it was my files. Strike 1.
I proceed to load the AT&T air card software, follow the steps and then restart. Nothing happens, I mean nothing happens. The machine came on and the screen remained black. Strike 2.
I have to call the store 3 separate times to finally get someone to assist me; I'm determined not to go back to the store that evening; it would not have been a pleasant experience for all parties concerned, not to mention the next day is Mother's Day and I'm having guests for brunch, including my own mother. Finally after having me do several unsuccessful things, the FD tech says I need to bring the machine in and I quickly respond that since someone is coming by tomorrow to drop off the software, he/she can take the machine back. The tech is amenable to my suggestion. Ball 1.
No one showed up on Sunday to deliver or pick-up a frickin' thing. I was home all day; I didn't even go to church because I was preparing for brunch. Foul ball.
On Monday I take the laptop, original hard drive and flash drive to Circuit City. I tell them that none of the files transferred and the laptop isn't working. First I had them exchange the pricey large capacity flash drive for a smaller less expensive one as the files took less space than they anticipated. Second I wanted them to fix my laptop; the asst. manager tried to give me grief about loading a non-Circuit City (aka Verizon) broadband software and I gently (ha ha) reminded him that I would not have done if the FD tech hadn't assured me that if it didn't work with Vista, I could download upgrades/patches from the web. He finally relented and said that it would take a few days because they would need to use recovery Cd's (do I know, no; do I care, no). I was going out of town, so I left it there for a week. Ball 2.
I returned home over the weekend and on Wednesday, May 21st I go to pick up the laptop, software, hard drive and flash drive. Before I take a step away from the counter, I have them check the flash drive. Low & behold, the files still aren't on it. They swear they have transferred everything, and quietly (ha ha) let them know they haven't. The FD tech plugs in my hard drive and I showed them the files I want. The tech said, "oh," then he transferred those files, which was a simple copy/paste, in 20 seconds. They assured me everything was fine with the laptop and that I should take it to an AT&T store to have them load the software properly. I walked out. Ball 3.
As I can't get online, I do other things. I set the laptop date and time; I set up the display and screen saver; and I do some other odds and ends to make it more mine.
The next day, I go to an AT&T store to have the air card software properly installed. I have another customer service saga about AT&T, which I'll go into later. The rep opens my computer, turns it on and it isn't working. He can't get to the connection manager; seemingly the laptop is again malfunctioning. I go home, have a cocktail and watch the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I couldn't go back to Circuit City in the state I was in or else folks would have been physically hurt, including myself. Strike 3.
Friday morning I awaken feeling refreshed. I've come to a decision. I have my files on the flash drive; I'll just use my work computer. I was returning the laptop and software and getting every dime of money I had paid.
Circuit City and Fire Dog had struck out. I went there for the last time, determined never to go there again or spend another dime with them. Note: Ask JC Penney if I can get my goods & services from another store, I haven't been there in almost 20 years because of lousy customer service and I'm sure Target is very happy with my decision.
This makes a total of 5 times to the same store for the same unresolved issue.
I walk in, immediately ask for an operations director and tell them I'm returning the laptop. He gives it to a FD tech, who was able to get to the connection manager, at which time I let them know they can load the AT&T software onto the computer. The manager begins to hem & haw about loading it and I let him know, do it or keep it, the decision is his. He decides to do it and says it should only be 10-15 minutes and I can wait for it. Upon completion I test it before I move from the counter, and it still wasn't working. The manager says they will give me another computer and I can pick it up tomorrow. Do I have to tell you my answer? Using my indoor voice (ha ha) I told him I would gladly take it, but I'm not coming back into this store. He said a FD tech would deliver it to me tomorrow.
Well, I can say that on Saturday, May 24th, 2008, two weeks, 5 trips, untold hours, unmentioned & numerous 4-letter words later, I received my new laptop in working condition.
I am pleased that they continued working to get it right; however, I am still never going to spend another red cent there. It shouldn't take that much dang work to get it right!
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